Dating 101: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

What makes men cheat? Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman dug through past research on male infidelity and found that most answers came from the wife's point of view. "Wouldn't it make more sense to ask the guys?" he thought. So for his new book, "The Truth About Cheating," Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity -- including what cheating men say could have prevented them from straying. Here, some of his findings:
More Dating Articles from Redbook:

48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about physical intimacy: Only 8 percent of men said that physical dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is to have physical intimacy with someone," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked," Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness -- and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it."

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.

The implications are a little scary: It isn't just uncaring jerks who cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they'd be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn't done it, Neuman says. Clearly, guilt isn't enough to stop a man from cheating. "Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings," Neuman explains. "They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later." So even if your partner swears he would never cheat, don't assume it can't happen. It's important for both of you to take steps toward creating the relationship you want.

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility.

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: "My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it." You can't simply ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, Neuman says, but you can request that they spend their time together in an environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values -- it'll create an environment that supports marriage.

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.

"Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts," Neuman says. "That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home." Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up -- and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't okay at work, Neuman says. Is it acceptable for him to work late if it's only him and her? Can they travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to discuss a project? Ask him what he'd feel comfortable with you doing with a male colleague.

Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.

In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get lucky with a better-looking body. "

In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void

In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and physical intimacy comes along for the ride." If you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering how to please him physically. (But know that physical intimacy does matter -- it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.

Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs -- you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about cheating, especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead, Neuman suggests, take charge of what you can control -- your own behavior -- and take the lead in bringing your relationship to a better place. Don't hesitate to show your appreciation for him, prioritize time together, and initiate affection more. Give him a reason to keep you at the front of his mind, Neuman says. And be open about how you feel about what's going on between the two of you (again, without mentioning any third parties). Try "I think we've started to lose something important in our relationship, and I don't want it to disappear." In the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on your relationship and doing what it takes to keep it working for you.

Reference

jollacarmen @ 3:49 AM

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Seven Deadly Dating Sins

In the dating world, there are certain things you just don't do. Okay, to be fair, we all do them—but we wish there had been someone there to tell us not to! In this excerpt from Sex with Your Ex, Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. clearly lays out the seven biggest dating sins for all the world to see (and avoid). So next time that little voice in your head tells you to pull a When Harry Met Sally in bed tonight or check your ex's away message, you'll know better!

1. Never have sex with your ex

The hard fact is that having sex with your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-partner, ex-one-night-stand, ex-whatever is playing with fire on too many levels for it ever to be the truly right thing to do. Strong feelings will resurface. You may long for him in ways that will surprise you. You may have to fight an overpowering lust. Powerful sex-triggered hormones in your body can make you think you're falling in love again. You will have amnesia about the reasons you're no longer together and be sucked into a fantasy of "happily ever after" this time. You will be tempted to think only of the good times, and you may even find yourself thinking about what could have been, what might still be ... stop that.

2. Never let him keep photos of you in your birthday suit

No matter how you feel about newsstand porn, the thought of being the star of your very own birthday-suit shoot can be totally titillating. Plus its an opportunity to flirt with one cute photographer, especially if he helps you strip down to your tan lines! Yet, in capturing the thrilling moment, make sure that you, and only you, have access to these rare glimpses of you in your "finest" form. While Mother Nature meant for you to be nude, society isn't in agreement with her on this one. And your actual mother might not like it too much either, should she stumble on your nudie pix on the Internet!

3. Never use the toilet in front of your partner

Some couples feel that they should be able to do and say anything in front of each other, even if it's not always so pretty. And it's true, with closeness in a relationship comes an ease and openness about certain things that early in a relationship you'd never dream of doing in front of your partner—using your menstrual heating pad, flossing, adjusting your thong along your butt crack, or picking at a pimple, for instance. However, most people would agree that there needs to be some sort of limit. This is especially true when it comes to using the loo. There are just some things you don't need to know about each other—or at least share—and the vision of doing a #2 tops the list.

4. Never write your ex a letter letting him know "how you feel"

There is a reason they call them breakups, you know. You're breaking off and moving on—with an emphasis on the moving on part. Writing your ex a letter will get in the way of your moving on. In fact, if you cave at this point, after all of the work you've done in getting yourself to a better place, you'll probably reverse all the healing and progress you've made since breaking up. You'll relive all the pain, make yourself vulnerable to more pain by putting your heart out there unprotected, and you'll probably get caught in a roller-coaster ride of unrealistically high hopes and anguished disappointment. So don't do it. He's put you though enough. If it's mean to happen again, let him make the first move.

5. Never fake orgasm

This one's worth repeating: Never fake orgasm—even if you think faking it is a selfless, compassionate act that will spare his feelings. All you do is deprive yourself of sexual fulfillment (if climaxing is your goal) and give him a false sense of rock-star status. Just think of how his ego will be blown if he ever finds out—and you thought you were doing it to make him feel good! In addition, every time you feign climax, you train your body to believe that the fake orgasm is all it's getting. In other words, you develop a habit that desensitizes you and makes it more difficult for you to attain orgasm for real. You end up settling in the sack. That's not the point of sex!

6

. Never drop your girlfriends for your guy
We've all had that girlfriend, the one who always seems to disappear when she has a boyfriend or significant other. She's MIA until the second they're on the rocks or done. Then guess who's calling you, crying on your shoulder, longing for support, wailing that she's doomed to be alone...until she finds the next one. If you find that you're guilty of being that kind of friend yourself, rethink whether any guy is worth the cost of abandoning your social circle. When you ditch your friends for your Romeo, you're creating a toxic, one-way friendship, and your friends are not obligated to stick around after you've dropped them. If you don't nurture your friendships the way you do your relationship, you may find yourself dumped by everyone the next time you have a breakup.

7. Never keep your ex in your phone or on your

buddy list

After you drop his toothbrush in the toilet—oops!—the first thing you should do after a nasty breakup is to get him off your radar. Completely. That means removing his number from your cell phone, getting him off any speed dials, and bumping him off your buddy lists online. Why this draconian purging? If the relationship and breakup were intense and emotional, it can be hard to wash him out of your hair. For many people, getting rid of all contact info is an important part of healing and finally being able to move on. And if you still have feelings for your ex—good or bad—having that number or buddy user name available at the press of a button makes it all too easy to put off the healing that needs to be done with a call or message.

source:
http://slideshow.ivillage.com/love/seven_deadly_dating_sins/1_never_have_sex_with_your_ex.html

Labels: men, sins

jollacarmen @ 7:37 PM

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

THE PILL - THE ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE

I got this topic at one of my friends forum... it got me interesting and decided to post here for my reference... future reference, i mean... hehehe

it should me stock here at my blog... lol
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What are Birth Control Pills?

The Pill is the most popular type of birth control. There are many different brands of The Pill and they come in packs of 21 or 28 pills. One pill is taken every day. The first 21 pills have a combination of synthetic estrogen and progesterone hormones. The Pill stops ovulation, preventing the ovaries from releasing eggs. The Pill also thickens cervical mucus, making it harder for sperm to enter the uterus. The hormones in the Pill prevent fertilization. The last 7 pills of a 28-day pack have no hormones and are called spacer pills. The Pill is 92-99.7% effective as birth control. It does not protect against reproductive tract infections, including HIV/AIDS.

Use

When started within 6 days of the start of a period or , The Pill is effective immediately. If the Pill is started at other times, it will be effective after one month. To lower the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, condoms can be used while taking The Pill.

Starting The Pill:

There are several ways to begin taking The Pill. One common way is to start on the first day of your period or the first day after an abortion. Some women prefer to start on the first Sunday after they begin their period or the first Sunday after an abortion.

Continuing:

Take one pill every day until you finish an entire pack. Try to link taking The Pill with a regular activity that you do at the same time every day, like eating a meal or brushing your teeth. If you have a 28-day pack, start a new pack immediately after you finish the old one. If you have a 21-day pack, take one pill every day for 21 days, no pills for 7 days, then start the new pack immediately.

Cautions

Some women may not be able to take The Pill because of the risk of serious health problems. Women who are over 35 and smoke or who have any of the following conditions should not take The Pill:

History of heart attack or stroke
Blood clots
Unexplained vaginal bleeding
Known or suspected cancer
Known or suspected pregnancy
Liver disease
Women who are under 35 and smoke, have migraines, gallbladder disease, hypertension, diabetes, epilepsy, sickle cell disease, elective surgery, a history of blood clots, liver or heart disease may not be able to take The Pill. Your clinician or doctor can decide.

Women who use The Pill have a higher risk of heart attack and stroke. The effects of The Pill on breast cancer are still unknown. The Pill lowers a woman's chance of developing ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer, and pelvic inflammatory disease.

Side Effects

As the body adjusts to hormonal changes created by The Pill, women often experience some minor side effects, including:

Irregular bleeding or spotting
Nausea
Breast tenderness
Weight gain and/or water retention
Spotty darkening of the skin
Mood changes
Side effects usually disappear after 2-3 cycles. If your side effects are bothersome after 2-3 cycles or if heavy bleeding occurs, continue taking your pills and call the clinic for an appointment to talk about your prescription.

Drug Interactions

The effectiveness of the Pill is lowered when taken with certain medications, including antibiotics, anti-seizure, tuberculosis, and migraine medications. If you are taking any medications, tell your clinician. When taking medications that may interfere with BC, consider adding a backup method of birth control, like condoms and spermicide. As with all drugs, it is useful to inform all your medical providers if you are using hormonal birth control.

Danger Signs

Women who experience any of the following symptoms while taking The Pill should call the clinic immediately:

Abdominal pains (severe)
Chest pain or shortness of breath
Headaches (severe)
Eye problems, such as blurred vision
Severe leg or arm pain or numbness
Missed Pills: Late Start

The most common way women get pregnant while using The Pill is starting late.

1 day late starting the next package: Take 2 pills as soon as you remember and one pill each day after. Use a backup form of birth control for two weeks.
2 days late starting the next package: Take 2 pills per day for 2 days, then continue as usual. Use a backup form of birth control for two weeks.
3 or more days late starting the next package: Call the clinic for instructions.
Missed Pills: During the Cycle

1 pill missed: Take it as soon as you remember and take your next pill at your usual time. This may mean taking two pills in one day.
2 pills missed in a row in the first two weeks: Take two pills on the day you remember and two pills the next day. Finish the rest of the pack as usual. Use a backup form of birth control for one week.
2 pills missed in a row in the third week: Keep taking one pill every day until Sunday. On Sunday, set aside the rest of the pack, including the spacers, and start taking a new pack of pills. Use a backup form of birth control for one week.
3 or more pills missed in a row anytime: Keep taking one pill every day until Sunday. On Sunday, set aside the rest of the pack and start taking a new pack of pills. Use a backup form of birth control for two weeks.
Missing any of the last 7 pills of a 28-day package will not raise your risk of pregnancy. Skip the pills you missed, but be sure you start your next pack on time.

Missed Periods

Missing a period does not always mean that you are pregnant. If you do miss a period, think about how likely a pregnancy is. Also consider the risks related to continuing birth control pills. Pregnancy is more likely:

in the first few months of Pill use
if you missed taking any Pills
if you are taking another medication (especially antibiotics)
if you have been sick (vomiting and/or diarrhea)
If you forgot one or more pills and do not have a period that month, we recommend that you have a sensitive pregnancy test done at a clinic.

If you miss two periods in a row, it could either be normal or a sign of pregnancy. Pregnancy tests are recommended right away. If you become pregnant while on The Pill, there is probably no risk of birth defects.

Future Fertility

Women who want to become pregnant may stop using The Pill at any time. Fertility may return immediately or after a few months.

Advantages
Periods may be lighter or more regular.
Easy to use.
Does not harm future fertility.
Does not interrupt sex play.
May protect against uterine and ovarian cancers.
May reduce acne.
Can be used for Emergency Contraception.
Disadvantages

Does not protect against sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS.
Must be taken every day.
Less effective when taken with some drugs.
Raised risk of heart attack and stroke.
Requires a prescription.

you should visit here: Immortality Forum

jollacarmen @ 7:51 AM

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Shhhhh, Dont tell the gUyS... sEcReTs of WOMEN!!!

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We women are well aware that most of the time we're a profound mystery to men. And for the most part, we like it that way. But the thought has occurred to just about every woman: Would it really be so bad if he knew about me? Wouldn't it help him understand me better? And more importantly, Wouldn't he annoy me less if he knew what I really wanted?

So for the benefit of women everywhere (and for your benefit too, guys—remember, a happy woman makes for a much happier man), we're going to let men in on a little of what really makes us tick, deep down. Read on for 11 near-universal secrets of womankind. Some may shock you, others may be things you've suspected for a long time (but never had the nerve to ask about). But know this: the woman in your life? She's hiding more secrets than these, including a few you'd never imagine. Lucky you—you get to spend a lifetime learning them all.

1. Everything we buy for ourselves—shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstore—really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.
Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so.

2. We actually think about sex—with you!—a lot.
Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime…

3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are.
True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy cliché, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever."

4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man."
We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation—when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe.

"I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things—especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."

5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.
You know how we're always telling you things like, "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo—we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better—because it's you, and you're the one we really want.

6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.
We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the
most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst
insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother."

But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines—did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.

7. We want you to be jealous—but just a little bit.
We want you to notice—and care!—when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker—good. Punching him out—very, very bad.

8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.
Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?

9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).
Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me."

10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do.
Why don't we say so often enough? Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hair–free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it.

Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household task—our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed?

11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.
I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get instead—you, and a lifetime of true devotion—is more than worth the price.

jollacarmen @ 9:22 PM

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Monday, July 03, 2006

Sexual Positions Women Enjoy

Let's face reality; women don't think that reaching orgasm is a lucky shot in the dark anymore -- nowadays, they want their juices to flow and they want it now. Today's sex tip will help every man learn about some of the great sexual positions that most women prefer. And sorry guys, on her knees performing fellatio didn't make the cut.

More often than not, women are assertive and no longer behave like quiet little mice when it comes to sexual scenarios. Actually, the fact that most guys try so hard (there's that play on words again) to get their women to achieve orgasm is quite evident of this fact.

The following are five sexual positions that many women enjoy. So the next time you're about to get down to the nitty-gritty with your woman, try the following positions and ensure that she receives some great orgasmic pleasure.

the private lap dance

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Some women love being on top when it comes to sex. Why? It's all about control, and having the liberty of getting herself off is quite tantalizing. If she likes, she can give herself a clitoral or G-spot orgasm, or even both (with your help, of course).

If she lies on top of you and sways back and forth, pressing against your pubic bone, then she's aiming for the clitty climax. If she remains erect but leans forward, resting her weight on her hands while she goes up and down in a constant motion, get ready because she's doing her G-thing.

Then again, there are those multi-talented women that are able to take a man deep inside their vagina, swivel their hips as though they're dancing, and all the while, they periodically squeeze their Kegel muscles. This drives me... I mean men wild.

An even crazier position involves her squatting -- she kneels on her feet and only her vagina and your penis are connected (literally). This is quite an enticing position for both parties involved, although she must have stamina to keep it up.

The best thing about having your woman on top is that you get to watch her enjoy and pleasure herself with your body. You get to watch as she reaches immeasurable orgasmic heights while your hands are free to rub, hold, scratch, and maneuver her taut body.

the comfort zone

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Believe it or not, lots of women love the missionary position. Yes, now I know that this position is considered to be the flannel pajamas of sex, but sex doesn't always have to involve swinging from the chandeliers and rough play.

Sometimes women (and even men, believe it or not) want to make "body love," which involves a whole lot more than just a vagina, breasts and a penis. There's eye contact, body massaging, and silent communication -- women love feeling like they're at the center of a man's world and what better way to show her you love her than to literally make love with her?

You don't have to keep up the typical in-out in-out motions of missionary either. Place a pillow under her buttocks, hold your upper body up with your arms, or even hold her butt with your hands (and she can do the same) -- all the while maneuvering as though you're dancing inside her body.

stand at erection

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Although chances are that you won't last for very long in this position (I know I always lose control), an orgasm (or two) is virtually guaranteed for her with this one. Have her sit up on a countertop, tabletop, washing machine, sink -- any surface that'll have her at the perfect thrust position.

Standing in front of her while she's spread eagle (legs open), plunge yourself inside. Because you're going deep within her, it's sure to cause you to reach climax somewhat quickly. As well, you'll be tapping her G-spot at a constant pace and you may even get her to ejaculate all over your member.

Also, since you're out of the bedroom, it adds an element of intrigue and excitement for both of you. Sometimes, even women want to get to the orgasm part of lovemaking rather than have elaborate "last forever" sex. So read your partner's messages and if she's in the mood to reach immediate heights of pleasure, then give the lady what she wants.

She wants you to try the spoon position. lol

Enjoy reading guys!!! ;)

Source: http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip/59_love_tip.html

jollacarmen @ 12:37 AM

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Friday, June 16, 2006

Kiss Me... Kiss Me!

Hmmmm, I love this topic. Actually I was thinking of kissing someone today, oppppsss not an erotic kiss it maybe that but I want something deeper and deeper. You know sweet kiss, kiss with love, and heavenly kiss or whatever you call it. Isnt it good when kissing someone and returns you back and you feel something, something that you cant just explain... Well anyway since we are talking here about kiss. Let me give you some ways on how could make a kiss into something magical, something different and something sensual... hmmmm

Kissing Techniques

The key to good kissing is creativity and listening to your
partners cues. Creativity speaks for itself. Creativity includes trying new ideas, and/or new combinations of movements, locations and moods. Listening refers to paying attention to your partner's verbal and nonverbal signals. Is your partner excited? Is your partner in an aroused mood?

Remember that a sensual kiss can often be very slow in it's
motion. The slowness can actually raise the sexual tension by pacing' the sexual encounter.

Routines sometimes can act to diminish the excitement, because the other person already knows exactly what will come next. In that way, a 'first' with someone new is always exciting, because you simply have no idea about what to expect. Therefore, in an effort to help people 'break' old patterns a set of different
types of kisses have been collected.

Some Different Types of Kissing -

Suspenseful kiss. The type that has a long buildup and both parties wonder when the other one will start to lean over… or if the other person is even interested.

Elongated kiss- this one involves a bit of mouth movement (opening and closing). With the use of your tongue. Imagine sucking on your arm, while using your tongue to gently pull in
the skin, and then push the skin back onto the arm. The movements
are best when slow, steady and precise.

Slobbery kiss. This is excellent for cunnilingus and fellatio. The saliva acts as lubrication. However, at all other times, unless specifically requested, avoid the slobbery kiss.

Wetting lips kiss. Run your tongue along the contours of their lips.

Sucking kiss. Exactly that. Suck on their lips. Upper lip kiss. Only kiss the upper part of the lip.

Lower lip kiss. Only kiss the lower part of the lip. The nibbling kiss. Literally, nibble on their lips and nibble/kiss all over their cheeks and ears.

Tongue sucker kiss. Literally, suck on your partner's tongue as if it was a finger.

Teeth cleaner kiss. While kissing, run your tongue along the inside of their mouth. Explore the structure of your partner's teeth. Feel each tooth (within reason), one by one. By following each grove, note the texture (s) of the tooth.

Tongue player kiss. Use your tongue to play with their tongue. Mouth explorer kiss. Use your tongue to explore the rest of your partner's mouth. What does the inside of your partner's cheek
feel like, the back of the lips? Does it feel dry, hard, of firm?

Public kiss. Kiss your partner in public, kiss your partner in private.

Motion kiss. Change kissing speeds. Begin super slow, and then let yourself speed up. The beginning part of the kiss should last at least 10 minutes, then after your partner can not stand it any longer speed up. Then, do not forget to slow your speed down. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Frequent subtle alterations, keeps the person guessing as to what will come next.

Loud kiss. Kiss your partner while making loud kissing noises.

Silent kiss. Kiss your partner without making any noise - best to practice when someone is around and you do not want to be heard.

Copycat kiss. Kiss your partner the exact way that she/he kisses you. Follow your partner's lead.

Open eyed kiss. Maintain eye contact during kissing.

Closed eye kiss. Close your eyes and imagine how this kiss will lead to the best sexual encounter ever imaginable.

Lick kiss. While kissing, use your tongue to lick her tongue, her teeth, and the roof of her mouth. Do not confuse this 'lick' with a sloppy wet kiss. This 'lick' is very precise. This technique is meant to be used to pull your partner's mouth slightly closer to yours and to feel what your partner feels like. Please note, your partner's mouth should be relatively dry afterwards.

Talking kiss. The talking kiss refers to whispering sweet nothings to your partner as you kiss them on their lips. In between each kiss or two, while still invading their space, sharing thoughts with them about how much you like them, or how much they turn you on. (i.e. the dress you wore last night, your eyes, the way you handled the situation at dinner etc.).

Elevator kiss. Sneak a kiss in to your partner when you are on the elevator and no one else is around.

Shared Candy Kiss. Sharing a candy or tasty morsel of food can be erotic and yummy!

Peck kiss. Just a fast kiss on the lips, where you literally peck your partner on the lips.

Now will you kiss me???

source: http://choosehealthnow.info/kiss-technique.html

jollacarmen @ 11:48 PM

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Rules of getting laid...

Actually I wasnt sure to this post, but my crazy mind came this naugty idea.
Today is weekend, mostly men and women highout to their friends, barkadas, family, love ones, officemates and even meeting people they just dont know to relax, to have fun, to chill and to unwind. Mostly they hang out to places like bars, discos, restaurants, parks and even to their places. What they do? of course have a drink, chat, having this interesting conversation, dance all night and even doing some dirty moves. *giggles*

I have a friend that who really wants to get laid once a week, I really asked him why he wants to do that? He simply answered, "Its just natural bec. Im a guy". That really structs me , I mean does every guy wants to get laid every now and then? He told me he had certain rules to get laid if she wants a girl and he showed me and give these tips...

Make her feel special, and she'll give you sex. If you are like us, you've listened when women have told you that they wanted equality, and wanted to be treated the same way men are treated. What they didn't tell you, because they didn't know it, was that they want to be treated the way they imagine men are treated. In point of fact, many women labor under the delusion that men's lives are really easy and that anything a man wants is automatically handed to him, usually by a woman. As guys, we understand that life is rough and no one is going out of their way to protect us or make it easy for us. So when women told you they wanted equality and you said to yourself, "Okay, I'll treat you like any other guy," you probably noticed that when you did so, they didn't put out for you. The bottom line is that, no matter what a woman says, you have got to make her feel special if you want sex. You have got to do the work, find out what things make her feel like a princess in a fairy tale, and then do those things.

To seduce a woman, you must take her into another world, a special world where only the two of you exist, a romantic world, a poetic world. Sometimes this happens automatically with a woman: if you've ever fallen in love, you remember what it's like to feel like you are the only two people who've ever existed. You probably also remembered that, in that state, she really wanted sex. A lot. If you haven't ever felt that, don't despair-by following these simple guidelines, you can learn to create those special feelings. It's your responsibility, if you want to get laid. So how do you do it?

- Keep on the lookout for romantic ideas or situations. You can train your mind to always be looking for ways that little romantic moments can be created. The other day a friend of ours was at a Chinese restaurant, and got the fortune "Take the next opportunity you see-it will be wonderful" in his fortune cookie. Seeing an attractive woman sitting alone, he wrote his name and phone number on the back of the fortune, and as he left stopped at her table and said "you look lonely here...perhaps this fortune will cheer you up. By the way, I think you look beautiful." She smiled and accepted the fortune and he smiled and left. Two days later she called him and they now have a date planned.

This effortless introduction worked because it created a small, special moment in her otherwise busy, stressful day. He was appreciating her. He was doing something romantic. You can tell if an idea is romantic by asking yourself, "would a woman look back on it as incredibly special?" Our friend knew that the fortune cookie was a tale a woman would gladly tell about how she met her boyfriend. So it was romantic, made her feel special, and it worked.

- Look like you put thought into it. Women feel special, just like anybody does, if they think someone has done some preparation just for them. Cooking a meal, wrapping a little present, or hand-making a card for her will all make her feel like you are sitting around thinking of ways to delight her. The key here is to do things that give the appearance that you are thinking of her, even if you are not. When you do things to make her feel special and appreciated it will increase her desire to put out for you.

- Do something special and "out of the ordinary." Don't take a woman to the same place you'd go with buddies if you want sex. Take her someplace out of the ordinary. A river front cafe in a nearby small town, a walk in the woods where you've previously and secretly stashed a bottle of champagne, two glasses and a blanket you can "discover" together are all examples of "out of the ordinary" events. Even art films (if she likes that kind of thing) or museums can be out-of-the-ordinary events. You can be an "out of the ordinary" man if you know some love poetry by heart. That will make her feel very special.

- Focus on the details. Women want the "little things," so you should make sure every little thing is right when you are seducing a woman. This means flowers, new candles just lit for the first time, clean linens, the works. Everything is clean, nothing is sloppy. Romance is in the details, and you must have them right in order to succeed. Just as a businessman is always looking for new situations that can make money, a "man's man" is always looking for new situations that can create romantic feelings. If you take on this practice you'll make her feel special, and you will get laid.

how your romantic interest right away. Do you want to learn a good way to waste a lot of time seducing a woman?

The best way is to try to be her friend first and then turn up the romantic overtones later. Showing your romantic interest in a woman right away upon meeting is one of the biggest seduction time-savers in this book. You must show your romantic interest in a woman right away, and she must know you are interested. There is no middle ground. Many men think that they have to establish a non-romantic relationship first before showing their romantic interest. They know that women want to feel safe, and understood, and truly loved as a human being before they take off their clothes and let a man degrade and despoil them. So lots of bonehead men take on becoming women's friends, figuring that then the woman will then know they are safe, that the man is a good guy, and will go nuts to have sex with them.

A bigger lie has never been told. The worst thing you can do in seducing a woman is becoming her friend first. At best it will slow down your seduction miserably, at worst (and most likely) it will kill your chances with her. It guarantees that she will eventually end up saying, "I wish I could meet someone just like you," but somehow not you. Here's why:

Women tell us that they decide about a man's status in their lives quickly--some have even told us that they decide in the first minute whether a man will be a hot lover or a lowly friend that they call for companionship when the real men are unavailable. Furthermore, if a man first establishes himself as a woman's friend, it'll appear odd to her when he "turns on the romance" later. She'll worry about "spoiling the friendship." She'll tell him he means too much to her to take that kind of a risk, and he will whine and only make it worse. If you've ever had this happen, it happened because you didn't show your romantic interest right away.

How to do it: You show your interest by doing the things a romantically interested guy would do. You establish eye contact with her and hold it a very small fraction of a second too long, you complement her in some way, perhaps by saying to the person who introduced you to her something like, "So this is the Jennifer you've been telling me about. She's even more beautiful than you said!" You also wink at her, feel free to smile at her, touch her casually (we'll discuss this later), talk about romantic things, and ask her about times she fell in love or felt romantic feelings. It is true that showing your romantic interest right away risks offending her, but here's the thing: remember, she's probably deciding about your status in her life right away. If you are acting like a romantic prospect, she'll have a natural tendency to put you into the romantic prospect category, because thinking of you as a friend when you are talking and acting romantic would take an effort she doesn't want to make. She'll fit you into the category you want because you are acting like you belong there. Act like a friend, on the other hand, and a friend you will become. As another plus, when you show your romantic interest right away and she does get offended, you know not to pursue her! Imagine what it would be like to know in the first five minutes whether a woman was interested and you should pursue her, or not interested and you should dump her! This is exactly what you will have when you start showing your romantic interest right away by smiling, winking, touching casually, talking about romance and complimenting her.

Make Rejection Your Best Friend. It takes balls to get laid, both literally and figuratively. Just like in business, you must foster the drive within yourself to succeed. You must keep your focus on the goal and not be sidetracked by the little details, like being rejected. The only way to have an abundant sex life is through rejection.

Many of our students feel crushed when a woman says "no." They get depressed and want to give up. Or they feel bad about themselves and think they are losers. We've also talked to guys who throw tantrums, get angry and blame the woman. These are natural reactions, but such reactions won't deliver the goods...sex.

The bottom line is that when a woman rejects you, you must take the long term view of things. Hearing "no" is part of the process of getting laid. When a woman says "no" you don't force her to have sex. This would damage your self-esteem, and could get you thrown in jail. What you do is go on to the next woman. You must train yourself as a dating commando to view and interpret all "no's" as steps along the way to your ultimate success.

Obviously it sucks to have a woman say "no." It also sucks to be spanking off in your room all alone. Remember: it isn't personal. Men ask, and women say "yes" or "no." Everyone, even seduction masters, hear "no" from women. They persist, and so must you. Even if it takes 1,000 no's for one yes, persistence is the only way.

If your goal really is to get laid, you must never, ever, ever give up. You may give up on a particular woman, but you don't give up on your ultimate goal of abundant sex. This never-give-up attitude is the key difference between a guy who is successful in seduction (or business, for that matter) and another guy who is at the whim of his emotions and fails frequently. The guy who doesn't let the rejection bother him succeeds, and the other guy fails. Which one do you want to be?

It is useful to view seduction as a numbers game. Keep in mind that even the most masterful seducers only pick up 10% of women they hit on. What they do is just keep on going and enjoy the process, like an adventure. You are learning a new art form, developing a new muscle, a new way of acting in the world and rejection will happen along the way. Be patient, for God's sake. No more whining.

Here are some things to remember:

It isn't personal. Every man gets rejected some of the time.
There are thousands of women who would be happy for you to fuck them tonight! You just don't know who they are and you give up too fast when you aren't willing to risk rejection.
Today's "no" can eventually become a "yes" later. Keep following the Rules in this book, and ask her out again some other day.
Getting laid is a numbers game. A certain percent of women will say "no" and a certain percent will say "yes."
Look at successful sports figures. Babe Ruth had the most home runs, but also had a huge number of strike-outs! Like Babe, you must be willing to swing for all you are worth and strike out sometimes.
If you are rejected, just go on to the next woman. That's all there is to it.

I hope you enjoy reading this...

jollacarmen @ 7:36 PM

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